Communication means everything to a relationship, and yet it is very difficult to always express the message correctly. Most people are afraid of making public their inner thoughts. They fear letting the other person see who they really are. Thus, they bring their own anxieties to the table. At times it is a subconscious action, but all the same a great hindrance to effective communication.
One can confront the challenge and bring to the table communicate from the heart. Anyone can put effort to relay a clear, understood message that truly expresses their feelings. This aspect not only affects partners, it also affects general communication with others.
The advice below helps in improving communication in relationships. As a result, one gets to enhance the quality of the relationship altogether:
1.Explicitly understand your partner’s emotions
Do you at times assume to know what your partner is going through? Just how well do you seek to understand your partners feeling? Most of the time, each partner is selfish with the interpretation of love. It is highly the case when emotions such as anger take the stage. You abandon rationality and insist on selfish gains.
Your partner needs to understand what love is to you. How you view your world together is important too.Moreover, it is imperative to communicate your side and not assume that the other party knows. You probably don’t care by what means they know except that you expect them to have insight.
Start by first understanding you. Read yourself deeply to grasp your desires and wants. Spend time in learning who you are and how that affects your partner. One reflection point is ‘when do you feel most loved’. It could be when your partner is romantic or when they help with house chores. Either way, discover you.
You need to be persistent in driving your side home because it takes more than one chat to have an impact on the other person. You feel most loved when your partner shows you love as you anticipate. However, do not presuppose that they understand that. Their love for you can take an unforeseen form unless proper communication intervenes.
2.Be inquisitive about your partner’s understanding of love
Get informed about what your partner thinks about loving you and how best to express it. Try to flip the situation from what they feel is important,to what means the world to you. Be less critical of your partner and try to correct them politely. Do not reiteration the number of times you have conveyed the same message. It does take time to internalize something new. Show patience and understanding towards the effort your partner is putting through to accommodate you.
3.Admit your mistakes
It is so comfortable to stand your ground and point fingers at your partner’s mistakes. What if you are the one who is wrong? Seeing situations through a third eye helps. Desist from a judgmental mind in your relationship. Also, avoid taking matters to heart when it’s you who did not transmit your desires fittingly. When you get too emotional, it could be time to take a break and do an activity to relax and help develop tolerance.
Your expectation level should be acceptable. You create a barrier and will always see mistakes if you have an unending list of what you expect from your partner.
4.Understand your partner’s angle
It comes so naturally to look at matters through your own eyes. You ratify your own beliefs and hold on to them very dearly. But what if you are wrong? What if your partner’s perspective is more rational?There are varying analyses due to the individuality of each person in a relationship. Each person sees and reads things differently. It is therefore vital to discuss differing opinions and agree on a common way forward.
This is a recurring matter and you cannot force your partner to agree to you views before discussion. This should happen throughout the course of maturity of the relationship. It also takes time for individuals to adapt to new lines of thought. Until then, persistence becomes the food that sustains the relationship. The changes that occur in the relationship may take a toll on it but should be borne gently.
5.Quid pro quo revelation
It’s not just about giving in a relationship, you also receive. Your heart becomes heavy when you choose to determine that you are receiving much less than you are giving. In this case, you will always expect to receive before giving.
Settlement comes in different forms.You receive from knowledge, God, the church or great experiences. It is impossible not to receive and hence use it as an excuse to not give. Your gifts allow you to always have something to give. Be perceptive of all the ways in which you receive and use this arrangement as the basis from which to share your love.
Mutual love is a basic ingredient for a working relationship. When love is obvious, your own internal critique rises up to create hurdles. Evaluate yourself and see what to change. Resist stubbornness and see how you can rejuvenate your relationship. Love yourself enough in order to love the other person.
by Monika Zands